Where Was I...

Kelly Cutrone’s “If You Have To Cry, Go Outside”

I’ve been a fan of Kelly Cutrone since seeing her for the first time on “The Hills” and “The City.” Later, I watched “Kell on Earth” and fell in love with her honest, direct, no-bullshit attitude. I’ve been inside boutique PR firms and more often than not, find myself face-to-face with the “typical PR girl” — stick-thin and wearing chic designer clothing, with a sugar-sweet disposition, but you know as soon as you turn your back that lipsticked smile will turn into a disgusted scowl as she rolls her eyes. Kelly Cutrone seems so up-front, direct and in-your face. I love it.

I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t really expecting a well-written book. After reading other exposés into PR firms like Robert Rave’s “Spin,” I was expecting a lot of gossip, a lot of shit-talking, and a lot of name drops from Cutrone’s book. But I was pleasantly surprised — I got the name drops (which are well-warranted, since she’s been in the business for more than twenty years), but I also got a glimpse into the life of a spiritual, successful, and independent woman who is whip-smart and true to her values. The book gave me a lot of insight into Indian spirituality, which I definitely wasn’t expecting from the memoir of one of the top Power Bitches in New York City.

Most importantly, it made me respect Kelly Cutrone as a strong feminist woman who kept her values intact in a world of shallow glamorous materialism. She refused to work for Donald Trump after he defended Mike Tyson after his domestic abuse scandal, and she defended Ashley Dupre after receiving a shitstorm of scandal when she placed her in the front row at a fashion show. “We’re all hookers in one way or another,” she said.

I remember when I told my friend Greg that I wanted to pursue a career in Public Relations, he told me to use it for good and not for evil. I never truly got what he said until I read this book. It’s like being a lawyer — a lot of lawyers have to defend awful, evil people. They justify corruption and greed and let guilty people run free. Successful PR people hold the same power. They spin the truth and turn it into something else, they detract people’s attention away from unlawful practices, they glamorize the immoral.

But PR can be used for good too. There are so many entrepreneurs and small companies and non-profit groups that are doing amazing things, and deserve attention, exposure and success. We have the power and the ability to use our skills for good instead of evil. In many ways, I think that’s what Kelly Cutrone was trying to project in “If You Have to Cry, Go Outside.”

This book also gave me a new perspective on interning and employer-employee relationships. Kelly Cutrone has an amazing passage on the employer-employee relationship towards the end of the book:

“No boss wants an employee she’s invested in to burn out. Your employer wants you to succeed. I don’t actually enjoy firing people — well, with the exception of one or two — and most other bosses would probably say the same thing. Think for a moment about what kind of an investment your employer makes in you. You may think the playing field is slanted in the employer’s favor since technically the employer can fire you at any time. It’s true that you can be fired if you fuck up or if you just don’t work hard or for many other valid or trivial reasons, but as an employee you are also a lot more powerful than you realize.”

And about interning:

“If you fail to treat your internships and early work experiences as the amazing learning experiences they are, you sabotage opportunities with the company you’re working for and you fail to cultivate the friends and mentors who might be resources or might give you recommendations in the future. When I like an intern and I can’t hire that person myself, I make phone calls; I go out of my way to help her get the job she wants. And I do this for her not because she has great style or she got my client featured on the Today Show; usually I go out of my way to help her because she fetched coffee and affixed labels cheerfully and efficiently and eagerly pitched in whenever she could. In other words, she understood and fulfilled her role in the pack to the best of her ability.”

Most of all, I liked Kelly Cutrone’s “If You Have to Cry, Go Outside” because despite her amazing success and mingling with the rich of famous, she still has an admirable sense of humility and is able to make fun of herself. I doubt I could say the same about Anna Wintour’s or even Lizzy Grubman’s memoir.

Final Verdict: A-

Why Georgia by John Mayer

I am driving on 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
Just stuck inside the gloom
Four more exits to my apartment but I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

‘Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right? Am I living it right?
Am I living it right? Why, Georgia, why? 

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with wood in places
To make it feel like home, but all I feel is alone
Might be a quarter life crisis
Or just a stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes about the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right? Am I living it right?
Am I living it right? Why, Georgia, why?  

So what, so I’ve got a smile on
But it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don’t believe me, don’t believe me
Don’t believe me when I say I’ve got it all down

Everybody is just a stranger but that’s the danger in going my own way
Guess that’s the price I have to pay
Still everything happens for a reason
It’s no reason not to ask myself

If I am living it right? Am I living it right?
Am I living it right? Why, Georgia, why?  

Limbo

If someone could please tell me where I’ll be in six months, for planning purposes I’d really appreciate it. I hate being in limbo like this, fully dependent on the ultimate decisions of others for my future.

one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m outta here

this song is how i feel about my last semester. just take out the lines about music and replace it with, well, life. ha. thanks ben folds.

i got up and i drove to work on the wrong side of the road
what the hell would i do? i must admit i didn’t know
then andrew came along y’all to add a couple of lines or so
i’ve got one i finished yesterday, and i got three-point-six to go

one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here

people tell me, ben just make up junk and turn it in
but i never was alright with turning in a bunch of shit
i don’t like wasting time on music that won’t make me proud
but now i’ve found a reason to sit right down and shit some out

one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here

i love you more than any man has loved before
i love you more than all the stars up in the sky
i think that we should settle down and live happily forever, after
what do you think of that?

i’m really not complaining, i realize it’s just a job
and i hate hearing belly-aching rockstars whine and sob
‘cause i could be bussing tables, i could well be pumping gas
but i get paid much finer for playing piano and kissing ass
this is one i wrote just an hour ago, three-point-six at last

one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow, and i’m out of here

living your life to the fullest

i was reminded tonight of eva markvoort’s blog, 65redroses. if you’ve never heard her story before, look her up because it is the most inspiring thing, and the ultimate example of living one’s life to the fullest. i don’t know. sometimes i get afraid that i’m not as good those that are good to me, that i should be doing more with what i have, and that i’m not fully appreciating my life. like one day when i’m 85 lying in a bed somewhere i’ll feel regret for the things i didn’t do, or the things i did do that i never really appreciated at the time. that’s a big fear. i love my parents and i need to treat them better. i love my friends, i love my boyfriend, i love my brother, i love my co-workers (well, most of them haha), and even those in my life that have treated me badly, i love the fact that they taught me what to look out for and who to trust and who to not waste precious time on. originally this post had a point. live your life to the fullest. that’s as much a note to myself as it is a note to anyone else who may read this.